Some Newly Opened Businesses
by Bill Shein
If, like me, you've been busy weeping with
joy over the arrival of warmer weather, you may have missed
the grand opening of these Berkshire County businesses.
THE SUPER-FANCY SHOP OF REALLY EXPENSIVE BUT
LARGELY USELESS TRINKETS — Notice how every
time a storefront opens up in Great Barrington, it is
quickly filled with another high-end boutique? That's
why The Super-Fancy Shop of Really Expensive But Largely
Useless Trinkets is right at home in a downtown increasingly
packed with stores that sell really expensive but largely
useless trinkets. If all goes according to plan, this
additional outpost of shiny objects will help complete
the transformation of Great Barrington into a Hamptons-like
playground that mere mortals can no longer afford.
THE GENERALLY ELECTRIC DANCE CLUB —
In the mood to get your groove on? At Pittsfield's new
Generally Electric Dance Club, Deejay P.C.B. spins your
favorite tunes, like the catchy, "We Do Not Consent
to Your Agreement," an underground hit recorded by
kids from Allendale Elementary School. Also in frequent
rotation is "The River's Natural Recovery Processes,"
an upbeat fantasy tune recorded (and re-recorded) by General
Electric executives every few years.
THE BERKSHIRE LIVING EXPERIENCE —
Ever been at the supermarket, picked up the latest copy
of Berkshire Living magazine, thumbed through its glossy
pages, and said, "Wow, where is this 'Berkshire County'
they're talking about? Because I don't recognize this
place." Now, at The Berkshire Living Experience,
regular folks can enjoy an immersive, Disney World-like
thrill ride that introduces them to "The Good Life
in the Country," even if they can't afford anything
that's written about or advertised in Berkshire Living.
PLANET CHARTOCK — Just when it
didn't seem possible, Northeast Public Radio has expanded
further, this time with a kitschy, WAMC-themed restaurant.
While a live WAMC audio feed fills the air with inane
chatter, patrons enjoy "local" fare from the
seven states (and Canada) that receive WAMC's signal.
And in keeping with WAMC's longstanding tradition of ignoring
public input about station programming, Planet Chartock's
menu is determined entirely by WAMC's president, Alan
"Not Gonna Happen" Chartock.
Planning a special event? Rent out Planet Chartock's
"Hinchey Room," a private dining room where
you'll hear audio loops of WAMC's fawning news coverage
of Rep. Maurice Hinchey, the New York congressman heard
so frequently on WAMC that you'd think he was a long-time
friend of the station's president. Or that he's on WAMC's
board of trustees. Or both.
THE REVOLVING DOOR BAR & GRILL —
Every town needs a hangout for local politicos, right?
At Pittsfield's new Revolving Door Bar & Grill, former
state reps Peter Larkin and Chris Hodgkins already have
their own tables, since their nascent Senate campaigns
hope to spin the revolving door between private interest
and public service to a physics-defying speed.
The walls of this dimly lit pub feature autographed photos
and interesting political documents, including a copy
of Larkin's current bio from his Web site, that says,
"He served seven terms in the House of Representatives
before accepting a position as senior vice president and
COO of the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council."
But didn't Larkin actually resign — just days after
being sworn-in for a new term — to join ML Strategies,
the DC- and Boston-based lobby shop that represents pharmaceutical,
energy, and casino interests? Funny how that little tidbit
vanished down the memory hole, eh?
In fact, the signature drink at The Revolving Door is
called "The Memory Hole," a potent cocktail
meant to erase voters' memories of inconvenient facts.
So drink up, Pittsfield, because there's a primary in
September!
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After writing about WAMC last year, Bill Shein
was described in that
station’s program guide as a “foolish man.”
(This column originally appeared in the Berkshire
Eagle newspaper on March 29, 2006. Join a discussion
about this column in Bill's blog.
And read Bill's previous column, "
'Rise Up in Protest', Indeed").
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