My Dinner with Jack
by Bill Shein

THE MEMORY OF my dinner with disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff is so vivid that sometimes I think it actually took place.

It was a few winters ago, a time when Jack was riding high and before he pleaded guilty to bribery and fraud. Through a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, Jack invited me to dine at Signatures, the upscale Washington restaurant he opened in 2002. He offered to teach me how Washington really works, and I eagerly accepted his invitation.

He was at Signatures nearly every day, paying for expensive meals to curry favor with lawmakers, their staffs, and other movers and shakers.

When I arrived at the busy Pennsylvania Avenue eatery, I was led straight to Table 40, Jack's regular spot. Heads turned — who was having dinner with Jack Abramoff, the capital's most powerful lobbyist?

Dressed sharply in a custom-tailored suit, with cigar in hand, the future felon greeted me warmly.

"Bill, my friend," he said, clasping my hand firmly and resting his left hand on my shoulder. "Let's eat, shall we?"

There was expensive wine and delicious food. We talked and talked — actually, Jack did most of the talking. He described his rise from head of the College Republicans in the 1980s to successful Washington lobbyist. He was wealthy — as court documents would later show, he was earning millions of dollars in fees from Native American tribes, corporate clients and others seeking government largesse.

Over huge steaks, Jack described how he "bundled" campaign contributions from his various clients to increase his leverage with elected officials. He also explained how to cultivate Hill staffers to help secure appropriations "earmarks" — federal dollars used for pet projects of lawmakers, and, in recent years, fertile ground for lobbyists seeking easy money for their clients. By 2005, about 14,000 earmarks would cost taxpayers more than $50 billion a year.

By dessert, he was on a roll. "See, Hill staffers don't earn squat," he said, drawing on his cigar. "So they love free meals, skybox tickets for basketball games, stuff like that," he explained. "And," he said with a wicked smile, "they also help me out because they want jobs as highly paid lobbyists, maybe even with my firm."

He was right. Since 1998, about 2,200 former federal officials have become registered lobbyists. That includes nearly half of the members of Congress who left office during the past eight years. The revolving door, it seems, is spinning fast.

He scoffed at my suggestion that the American people won't stand for this increasingly corrupt status quo. "I'm going to tell you a secret, Bill," he said, leaning in close. "It's the reason why it's so hard to change lobbying rules or the way we finance political campaigns."

He paused, filling the air with expectation. "Politics, my friend, is Hollywood for ugly people."

He sat back in his chair, a smug smile creasing his face. "See, crafting legislation, meeting with constituents, sitting through committee meetings — it's all just plain boring," he said, taking a sip of the rare 100-year-old cognac our waiter had poured. "It's the lavish fundraisers, fancy trips, and attention from the rich and powerful that keeps people in the game. And it doesn't matter if they're Democrats or Republicans," he added. "They love being treated like celebrities."

Jack looked at his watch; our meal was over. I pulled on my coat and thanked him for his insider's view of American democracy. My despair must have been obvious.

"Don't look so glum," he said. "Hey, maybe you'll write about me and help me get some new clients. Believe me," he said, "I'd be grateful." The unstated offer was clear — no doubt he used coded signals like this in meetings with legislators and Hill staffers every day.

"I'll let you know," I said. We shook hands, and I walked past tables filled with corporate lobbyists dining with the elected representatives of the people, pushed open the heavy glass door, and disappeared into the cold winter night.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bill Shein thinks the real scandal is what's legal.

(This column originally appeared in the Berkshire Eagle newspaper on February 22, 2006. Join a discussion about this column in Bill's blog. And read Bill's previous column, "A Better Presidents' Day").