A Better Presidents' Day
by Bill Shein

Let's talk for a minute about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, two great Americans we honor on Presidents' Day.

By leading a revolution and guiding our fledgling nation through its early years, Washington set us firmly on the path of democratic self-government — not to mention inspiring America's children to (a) not chop down Dad's favorite cherry tree, and (b) not lie about it if they do.

And when our divided house threatened to fall, Lincoln held the nation together against incredible odds, losing his life in the process.

They both deserve to be honored in a way appropriate to their enormous contributions to American democracy.

Yet little by little, Presidents' Day has lost all meaning. It's increasingly ignored. Most of us still go to work. There are few, if any, parades. No one wears a George Washington or Abraham Lincoln costume all day long, as our parents and grandparents did with pride. Even the number of jokes about Washington's wooden teeth and Lincoln's penchant for knock-knock jokes have declined to the point that few Americans even know that Lincoln had a penchant for knock-knock jokes.

And costume shops that once did a brisk Presidents' Day business in powdered wigs, George Washington masks and "Uncle Abe's Instant Beard Spray" no longer see a job-creating spike in business.

Today, Presidents' Day means sales at auto dealerships and bedding stores — hardly the best way to recognize great American leaders.

So here's a crazy idea: Let's honor George and Abe by combining Presidents' Day with Election Day. It doesn't require the creation of a new federal holiday, but simply moves February's holiday to "the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November." Hey, that's Election Day!

An Election Day holiday would help millions of Americans get to the polls to make their voice heard. From jet-setting CEOs to people working multiple jobs while shuttling kids between school and soccer games, a day off for democracy would ensure that all kinds of people fully participate in American self-government. And what could be a better way to recognize the achievements of Washington and Lincoln than with the massive free exercise of our most fundamental American right?

A national Election Day holiday also would enable more of us to be poll workers, addressing a growing shortage. It would bring Americans together — in person, not just by mail — in a powerful, tangible example of our commitment to broad democratic participation. We could even have "Democracy Day" carnivals with midway games, "Best Abe Lincoln Costume" contests, and lots of gut-busting fried dough!

Combining Presidents' Day with Election Day could make everyone happy: People with job and child-care commitments that keep them from the polls; fans of Washington and Lincoln; business owners who worry that an additional federal holiday would be costly, and America's fried-dough manufacturers, who have seen sales dwindle because of low-carb diet mania.

Now, some argue that an Election Day holiday wouldn't increase turnout very much. They suggest that our remarkably low level of voter participation — the United States currently ranks 138th in the world in average voter turnout — has more to do with other factors: Noncompetitive elections created by gerrymandered districts and the Electoral College (which favors voters in a handful of swing states); the influence of big money; the elimination of civics education in our schools, and a general belief that voting doesn't make a difference.

And you know what? They're right. Expanding participation and restoring power to all the people will require more than just an Election Day holiday. But combined with other reforms, including Election Day registration and later poll closing times, it can help.

Look, American democracy has worked hard for us for nearly 230 years. That means it's accrued at least 460 weeks of vacation that it's never been allowed to take. So, at minimum, to avoid a nasty employment lawsuit, let's show our appreciation of American democracy with a once-a-year voting extravaganza — a national holiday that cranks up the voice of the people and honors Washington and Lincoln with something more meaningful than a sale on linens.

C'mon, who's with me?

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Bill Shein's latest book, "Abe Lincoln's Favorite Knock-Knock Jokes," will be in stores soon.

(This column originally appeared in the Berkshire Eagle newspaper on February 19, 2006. Join a discussion about this column in Bill's blog. And read Bill's previous column, "Dick Cheney's Apology").