Category Archives: Economy

In Defense of Obama

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By Bill Shein
August 2, 2011

Dudes, just hear me out on this debt “deal,” okay? Because NEXT time, Obama is seriously going to STAND HIS GROUND, man! You just wait. He’ll rebalance the tax code and finally get around to progressive priorities. Seriously, dudes, it’s what he really wants. That’s the REAL Barack Obama. Not the Obama who is – until next time! – helping shred the economic and social fabric of America for the benefit of a narrow elite.

C’mon, man, he was handed a raw deal, you know? He’s doing the best anyone could do. He saved global capitalism, remember? And dude, that’s a good thing, even if modern global capitalism is a species- and biosphere-destroying monstrosity that needs a fundamental overhaul. Later, okay? First we need to win in 2012.

I mean, the Republicans, and the Tea Party, well, how’s anyone supposed to deal with THEM, you know? They’re not rational. Someone has to be the adult, right?

But anyway, you just wait until that Congressional super-committee, evenly split between the parties, with the Republicans promising to appoint only anti-tax conservatives, comes back with its proposal. It’ll let the Bush tax cuts expire, even though Republicans keep winning, over and over again, by refusing, every time, to consider the long-overdue restoration of sane tax policy. You’ll see. It’s what Obama really wants, man. And he’ll make it happen. Regardless of all those high-dollar contributions rolling into his re-election campaign. He knows what he’s doing. He’s setting them up perfectly. It’s going to work. Just wait, okay?

Oh, and the coming “tax reform” won’t be a sham at all. Not this time. Seriously, man. Yeah, they’ll slash marginal rates for the wealthy and corporations, but they’ll also get rid of loopholes! And yes, I know those loopholes will make their way back into the tax code, and the rates will stay low, creating yet another debt crisis, and greater income and wealth inequality, and more money for the status-quo powers to use to buy off the whole system, but seriously, dude, trust me. OBAMA KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING! He’s, like, six chess moves ahead, man! He’s the Garry Kasparov of American politics. You’ll see. Just wait.

When will Obama’s liberal critics just shut up, you know? They make the perfect the enemy of the good. I mean, look at all the good in this debt-ceiling deal. Seriously, check out the big wins for progressives. They’re all over this deal! There are so many that I won’t even try to list them! And he forced the Republicans to cave on, um, well, I’m sure they caved on something. Must have.

In any event, the most important thing is to get Obama re-elected. Sew-up those independents, man. And raise a billion dollars. In his second term, you just WAIT. That’s when the totally amazing stuff is going to rain down on America, leaving those unreasonable GOPers in the dust! In the meantime we just have to suck it up for the greater good. But only for a bit longer.

CUT TO: December, 2016

Seriously, dude, Obama is going to be an AWESOME ex-president, and that’s when he’s REALLY going to make a difference. Next month he’ll be free of the constraints of the White House, and politics, and he’s going to make Bill Clinton look like a do-nothing ex-president. You just wait. Seriously. That $10 million book deal and those $100,000 speeches will give him the bank to be free – finally! – of all the nonsense he PRETENDED to believe so he could get elected twice, you know? The voting electorate is narrow, my man. Not representative of everyone in America. Getting worse. That’s the reality. You gotta play to the few who still vote if you want to win.

I mean, sure, Obama was only able to take the worst financial crisis in 75 years, and big Democratic majorities in the House and Senate, and use them to enact marginal changes, most of which were quickly watered down by lobbyists. And he did little to slow catastrophic climate change. But now that he’s wrapping up his second term, he’s seriously going to MAKE … IT … HAPPEN!

Hang in there, okay? Just wait. Cut the guy a break. He’s on our side. Give him time. Be patient. Seriously.

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Bill Shein is considering a run against President Obama in next year’s New Hampshire primary. Seriously!


A Dreamy Presidential Debate

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By Bill Shein
June 15, 2011

Like dozens of Americans, on Monday night I set aside any number of worthwhile pursuits to watch the first “debate” among seven candidates seeking the Republican nomination for president. It was hosted by CNN, a “news” network that successfully merged the seriousness of the presidency with a Times Square-esque debate stage modeled after a television game show. Let’s say it together: “Classy!”

Watching the candidates amidst red, white, and blue graphics projected onto 4.2 million flat-screen televisions, I quickly felt overwhelming fatigue. The moving camera shots, the awkward perma-smile of Mitt Romney, the habit of Rep. Michele Bachmann to look up at a TV monitor rather than into the camera – it created a powerful anesthetic that I’ve already patented for use during long surgeries.

Soon I was in that half-awake, half-dreaming state the entire nation experienced during the height of the 1990s dot-com boom and the 2000s housing bubble. (And don’t forget the run-up to the Iraq War, too!) The candidates’ predictable blather and the preposterous game-show format began to merge with my dreams, and, more or less, here’s what happened next:

CNN HOST JOHN KING: And we’re back, which means it’s time to ask another incredibly important question. Is it about climate change? Permanent war? Wealth inequality? Nope. Congressman Ron Paul, answer me this: Blackberry or iPhone?

(A cartoon bubble appears over PAUL’s head. It reads, “I have no idea what he’s talking about. ‘Blackberry’ is that tasty little fruit I sometimes mix into my morning oatmeal, along with prunes. An ‘Eye Phone’ sounds like a futuristic contact lens. But I really have no idea. I will, therefore, guess.”)

PAUL: Blackberry?

(The debate continues, with the candidates rambling on and on, ignoring KING’s efforts to keep answers to 30 seconds.)

KING: Will anyone observe the 30-second limit? Even once?

CANDIDATES (together): No!

KING: Okay, just checking. Former Sen. Rick Santorum, throughout this debate you’ve worn a pained expression. Why? Did you undergo dental surgery moments before we began?

SANTORUM: Actually, yes. Four root canals. Without anesthesia. (He motions off-stage.) Right there, back stage.

KING: Whoa. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, do you believe states should choose whether to allow same-sex marriage?

BACHMANN: Yes. That’s for states to decide.

KING: But you support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, yes?

BACHMANN: Yes, I do.

KING: So, um, that wouldn’t really leave it up to the states, would it? You’re not being consistent, Congresswoman.

BACHMANN: John, as I often tell my 439 foster children, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Ralph Waldo Emerson said that a long time ago.

KING (exasperated): Yeah, but, well, anyway. Herman Cain, former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, when you say that a president needs to “identify the problem” and “get the right people together” to address the issues, what exactly do you mean? Can you be more specific?

CAIN: My point is that we simply need to identify the problem, get the right people together, and then address the issues. And that’s what I’ll do as president! But I won’t appoint Muslims. Just FYI.

KING (after a beat): Um, okay.

(To great applause, the famed psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud appears on stage.)

FREUD: Can each of you please share your feelings about the Weiner?

JAY LENO (appearing suddenly): Hey, stop stealing my gags, Freud!

KING: Mr. Freud, Mr. Leno, please. I’ll have to ask you to leave the stage. We must address important questions! To that point: Former Speaker Newt Gingrich, which do you prefer: “American Idol” or “Dancing with the Stars”?

GINGRICH (removing a jeweler’s loupe from his eye): John, have you ever considered a small diamond stud earring? I think it would look terrific. I’ll buy you one and charge it to my account.

LENO (chuckling): Hey, that’s pretty good. Newt, after you don’t win the presidency, you should write for my show!

(Suddenly, BILL SHEIN appears on stage at an eighth lectern. He is wearing a colorful Hawaiian shirt, an enormous cowboy hat, and large, fuzzy, après-ski boots.)

KING: Bill Shein, if elected president, you’ve promised to create millions of manufacturing jobs in just six weeks. How?

SHEIN (modeling his outfit): Hawaiian shirts, my man. We’ve got to get back to doing things that no other country can do. First on that list? The creation of hideously ugly clothing.

KING: And after Hawaiian shirts?

SHEIN (smiling): The return of the fanny pack, brother. It’s going to be huge! While China is wasting time making solar panels and wind turbines, we’ll be cranking out Fanny Pack 2.0 by the millions!

(Cheering audience members rush the stage, lift SHEIN onto their shoulders, and carry him back stage. They pass LENO and FREUD in a loving embrace, an unoccupied dental chair, and a BACHMANN staffer holding a sign that says, “DON’T FORGET TO LOOK INTO THE CAMERA!”)

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Bill Shein believes television coverage of public affairs has reached absurd new heights.

SUPPORT THIS WORK: Help fund distribution of Bill’s upcoming book about democracy reform by making a $2-to-$12 donation here. Thanks to “crowd-funding,” the e-book verison will be available for free. Thanks for your support!

The Race to Restrict Voting

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By Bill Shein
May 12, 2011

The all-out sprint in many states to implement new restrictions on voting has made small-“d” democrats like me wonder if there might, just possibly, be some blatantly partisan game afoot.

CUT TO: Bill Shein, adjusting his “I’m The Most Naïve Person in the World!” baseball cap.

Dozens of states – all with legislatures and governors’ offices controlled by Republicans – are racing to implement new photo ID requirements for voting. Additionally, many states are further restricting voting by requiring a certified birth certificate to register, curtailing early and absentee voting, and trying to eliminate same-day registration.

As I wrote in this space in March, requiring photo ID is a solution in search of a problem. The voter-impersonation fraud it allegedly addresses simply doesn’t exist. But the new requirements will reduce electoral participation among the 25 million otherwise-eligible Americans who don’t have government-issued photo ID.

Because those without photo ID – young, poor, minority, disabled, and elderly voters – tend to favor Democrats, it’s no surprise that Republicans want changes in place by 2012. Their attempts to piggy-back other restrictions on top of photo ID clearly reveals the game they’re playing.

Republican State Sen. Mike Bennett, who helped advance sweeping new voting restrictions in Florida, said last week, “I wouldn’t have any problem making [voting] harder …  this should not be easy.” Meanwhile, the GOP sponsors of new voting restrictions in Maine admit there’s no evidence of voter fraud, but suggest Maine needs a “lean-forward” approach to the “problem.”

In Kansas, where Gov. Sam Brownback says new restrictions on voting are “reasonable,” it will soon be necessary to produce a certified birth certificate to register, effectively ending voter-registration drives by the League of Women Voters and other groups. In Florida, a new law achieves the same end by adding onerous filing requirements and large fines for minor missteps by third-party groups.

While most states say they will provide “free” photo identification to those who need it, they won’t cover the cost of acquiring necessary documents (often from other states), reimburse people for time away from hourly jobs, pay for child care while they wait in line for hours at a government office, and so on.

These efforts to limit voting are being aided by the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), a corporate-backed group that produces so-called “model legislation” that – don’t be shocked – advances the goals of wealthy corporate interests. ALEC’s “Private Enterprise Board” is filled with representatives from Exxon-Mobil, Peabody Energy, Kraft Foods, Wal-Mart, Koch Industries, and others who stand to profit handsomely by maintaining the economic status quo.

Why would these corporations support new restrictions on voting? Because the ultimate threat to The New American Plutocracy, where corporate profits set records while millions go without jobs, retirement security, health care, or even enough to eat, is a reinvigorated American electorate that votes in large numbers – well above the meager 38 percent who participated last November when partisan control of many state legislatures and the U.S House of Representatives changed hands.

Voting is – for now, at least – one way that pesky human beings can counter the unlimited spending on elections and lobbying by fictitious corporate “persons.”

Unfortunately, few Americans pay much attention to election law and many think requiring photo ID to vote is no big deal. Some mistakenly believe that everyone already has photo ID because you need one to get on a plane, cash a check, or drive a car.

(FYI: Millions of Americans don’t fly or drive, and at least 17 million don’t have a checking account, according to a 2009 study by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.)

Comment threads on Web sites where elections are discussed (including mine) are filled with dismissive suggestions that if someone “can’t be bothered” to “just go and get” a photo ID, even if they have to pay $30 or more, take time off from work, and pay for child care, they “probably don’t know much about the issues” and “probably shouldn’t vote anyway.”

If we believe our national talking points about democracy and the right to vote, such statements must be vigorously challenged. As must the sweeping new restrictions on voting in Ohio, North Carolina, Florida, Texas, Kansas, South Carolina, and elsewhere.

It’s not naïve to believe that the future of our democratic experiment, and the quality of life for millions of Americans, hangs in the balance.

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Bill Shein’s “Democracy Boy” superhero costume is freshly cleaned, pressed, and ready for 2012.


SUPPORT THIS WORK: Help fund distribution of Bill’s upcoming book about democracy reform by making a $2-to-$12 donation here. (Thanks to “crowd-funding,” the e-book verison will be available for free. Thanks for your support!)