Today's "Breaking Wartime News!"
SFX: Sound of 150,000 American soldiers in Iraq breathing an audible sigh of relief.
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"A political campaign is a popularity contest and convincing voters that candidates are likable is part of the program. Showing off their personal side is part of that, a lot like when former President Clinton used to play his saxophone, said F. Christopher Arterton, dean of George Washington University's graduate school of political management."Well, voting for "likeable" got us into the Iraq disaster, and worse, folks. So this time around I say we skip the "likeable" part of the "campaign." C'mon, who's with me, America? Let's elect a president based on what the hell he/she says he/she will do in office -- with specifics! Let's forget about all this nonsense about who "leaves socks on the floor," and who we'd like "to have a beer with," and "who can bench press the most," and "who would personally torture detainees at Guantanamo Bay with his own, Mitt-Romney-like hands," etc.
WASHINGTON - The White House said Tuesday that “all options are on the table” about the leadership of the World Bank, even as it publicly defended embattled President Paul Wolfowitz as he fights conflict-of-interest charges.Run, Paul Wolfowitz, run! The Bush administration is about to go medieval on your, um, person!
Spurred by fears that thousands of animals, plants, and microbes will disappear from the planet before scientists can properly study them, a consortium of world-famous research institutions and funding foundations tomorrow will launch an effort to compile an enormous, computer-based "Encyclopedia of Life" to catalog every species known or found.Hurry, scientists, hurry!
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Lawmakers also raised questions about a provision that would allow the government to retain "significant intelligence information" taken in the search of a U.S. citizen's home if a FISA warrant permitting the search is later denied. FISA allows FBI agents to surveil a subject for a short period on an emergency basis before seeking a warrant, but if the warrant is denied, current law allows the retention only of information involving imminent death or harm.That's a pretty remarkable request: Use the flexibility under FISA that lets the government surveil and search the homes of U.S. citizens on an emergency basis while waiting for FISA's stamp of approval -- which it pretty much always grants -- but then, should the FISA court deny the request, the government gets to keep all of the information anyway.
The FISA court almost never turns down a warrant request. Data for 2006 show that it signed off on 2,176 warrants, the Associated Press reported yesterday. One application for a warrant was denied in part, and 73 required changes before being approved.
In a six-minute televised speech from the White House, the president called the measure a “prescription for chaos and confusion,” and said, as he has for weeks, that he could not sign it because it contained timetables for troop withdrawal.There may be few, if any, good options for American policy in Iraq, but the worst of all is to continue sending more and more of our brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, and friends and loved ones into the sectarian crossfire and bloodshed of Iraq. The American people have spoken, loudly and clearly and frequently, and we say it's time to bring our soldiers home. If the president continues to wage war against the wishes of the people he purports to represent, he should be removed from office, plain and simple. That's not partisan politics -- it's what every small "d" democrat in America should see as perhaps the only way to begin to restore American values to American foreign policy.
SFX: Collective, global sigh of relief, followed by sarcastic rolling of eyes, followed by counting of column inches devoted to Spears, followed by reading of news about Iraq, followed by turning of global stomach