Zing!

From a Reuters story about Karen Hughes' first stab at "public diplomacy" in the Middle East:

Anthony Cordesman, a senior analyst at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, sharply criticized the U.S. public diplomacy campaign, saying it had amounted to "a dialogue of the absurd" run by inexperienced officials.

"Quite frankly, when I look at what we've done in the field we've turned democracy into a four-letter word," he told a congressional panel on Wednesday as Hughes was on her trip.

"I think we have done in many cases more harm than good, and if nothing else, if we simply stopped that, it would be a step forward."

Suggested Headline: "Dover Case Teaches Kids About Logic Games"

Attorneys defending Dover Area asserted that scientists can believe in God and still be in good standing. They also tried to draw a distinction between the design concept and its proponents -- a scientific theory doesn't cease to be "scientific" just because its advocates happen to be Christian, said Pat Gillen of the Thomas More Law Center.

SFX: Gomer Pyle saying, "SUR-prise, SUR-prise, SUR-prise!"

CNN.com: "Brown puts blame on Louisiana officials"

CUT TO: Worn, Yellowing, Crumbling, Blood-Stained "Iraq Talking Points"

President Bush on Wednesday warned there will be an upsurge in violence in Iraq before next month's voting, but said the terrorists will fail. "Our troops are ready for them," he said.

[...] "We can expect they'll do everything in their power to try to stop the march of freedom," Bush said. "And our troops are ready for it."

This, My Friends, Is Huge!

The Supreme Court has agreed to review a case that may give it the opportunity to overturn Buckley v. Valeo, the 1976 Supreme Court decision that -- erroneously, many think -- largely found campaign spending limits to be unconstitutional. It's the case that essentially equated money with speech, a problematic notion for a fair and just democracy. It really speaks to the heart of whether economic power should be easily and legally translatable into political power, as has been the trend in recent decades.

Many of us -- perhaps most -- don't believe that money equals speech. Money is property, and the true nature of American democracy is (or certainly should be) that our voices should be equally heard at the ballot box and in the halls of government regardless of financial resources.

For us democracy-reform nerds, this is a big day. Expect oral arguments in January or February. Will be interesting to see where Roberts and O'Connor's replacement come down on this.

Here's the Times story (lead story today!). And here's the National Voting Rights Institute, the great nonprofit that has been working on this and related issues for a decade.

UPDATE: When I wrote above that the "trend in recent decades" is toward money buying political power, I should have said that is in terms of the institutionalizing of political campaign funding and lobbying into a legal framework. Money has always bought power here, though it's a bit shocking when it's an accepted part of an allegedly transparent system.

Creepy Vet Adventure

One last kitten tale: I took the new kitten to the vet today for his two-week post-adoption check-up. And guess what? He has a minor case of ear mites in one ear.

Ever seen an ear mite? The vet let me look at one under a microscope. It's not an exaggeration to say that I may never sleep again. At least not without having first jammed cotton balls in my ears. And then covered them with duct tape. And ear muffs. And then a very tight-fitting hat. And then a 10-mil plastic bag in which I've cut a small -- very small -- breathing hole. And then placing my entire head in a NASA helmet. And then staying up all night anyway.

CUT TO: "Star Trek II", Mr. Chekov, zooming in on ear canal, Chekov screaming, 'nuff said

One More Photo

Not sure why, but I find this photo of the new kitten and my dog Ella (black lab/chow mix) to be hilarious and also creepy in an unsettling "Jaws"-like way. It's that eye, man. Don't look directly into it. Seriously, don't.

CUT TO: "The Ring 3: The Kitten-Dog Photo"

The New Kitten

Alright, alright, alright. Enough already with the e-mails. Enough I say!

Yes, I wrote a column about my new kitten. (One friend suggested/warned that I'm allowed no more than one column/year about kittens. After that, goodbye career writing humor/commentary about politics and current events! Helllllloooo contributing editor of Cat Fancy!)

And yes, it's cute as a hell. And, fine, yes, alright, I'll post a picture. His name is Django, he's now almost five months old, and he joins Ella the dog, Coltrane the dog, and Alice the still-semi-cranky-about-the-kitten, nine-year-old cat.

Fine, I confess. I'm the freaking Dr. Doolittle of Monterey, Massachusetts. Okay? Happy? Sheesh.

Django, looking somewhat hobbit-like.

Simple Question

Just what exactly does Congress hope to learn by grilling former FEMA bozo-in-chief Mike Brown?

CUT TO: My Near-Permanent Look of Mock Surprise

The full story is here: "Many Contracts for Storm Work Raise Questions."

Already, questions have been raised about the political connections of two major contractors - the Shaw Group and Kellogg, Brown & Root, a subsidiary of Halliburton - that have been represented by the lobbyist Joe M. Allbaugh, President Bush's former campaign manager and a former leader of FEMA.

"When you do something like this, you do increase the vulnerability for fraud, plain waste, abuse and mismanagement," said Richard L. Skinner, the inspector general for the Department of Homeland Security, who said 60 members of his staff were examining Hurricane Katrina contracts. "We are very apprehensive about what we are seeing."

Nice. Real Nice.

There were many, many, many, many, many reasons to strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly oppose the so-called bankruptcy "reform" bill that was signed into law last spring -- no doubt to the sound of lusty cheering from the executive suites of the credit-card companies and financial-services firms that have lobbied for it for more than a decade.

But as made clear repeatedly in this space and many others, it is a bad, bad, bad, bad law.

Here's a nice post-Katrina tidbit:

But House Republicans, who fought off a proposed amendment that would have made bankruptcy filings easier for victims of natural disasters, said there was no reason to carve out a broad exemption just because of the storm.

Representative F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. of Wisconsin, the chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, rejected the notion of reopening the legislation, saying it already included provisions that would ensure that people left "down and out" by the storm would still be able to shed most of their debts. Lawmakers who lost the long fight over the law, he said, "ought to get over it," according to The Associated Press.

A White House spokesman, Trent Duffy, said the administration "doesn't see a lot of merit" in calls to delay the law's effective date but was considering making allowances for hurricane victims.

Whose side are these people on? I think, sadly, that know the answer.

Full story...

Maybe There'll Be Room For Him on Trent Lott's New Porch!

Good luck with that presidential campaign, Senator Frist!

Asked in a television interview in January 2003 whether he should sell his HCA stock, responded, "Well, I think really for our viewers it should be understood that I put this into a blind trust. So as far as I know, I own no HCA stock"

Frist, referring to his trust and those of his family, also said in the interview, "I have no control. It is illegal right now for me to know what the composition of those trusts are. So I have no idea."

More...

BREAKING WEATHER NEWS!

"Rita Weakens to a Category Minus-Two Hurricane, Spreading Sunshine and Warm Breezes and Fluffy Kittens in Her Wake"

SFX: CNN "Breaking News" Theme!

"Aniston says she's ready to date"

More Platitudes from Inside His Bubble!

Bush Says U.S. Must Not Retreat on Iraq

The Pocket President Has Returned

Check him out here. And
then spread the word.

Saddam's Legal Bills

Not sure if it's legal, or ethical, but it seems that Saddam is being paid a tidy sum to hawk fashions in next month's issue of GQ. Someone leaked one of the photos to me. I call this "The Stylish Madman" pose.

John Roberts is "The Manchurian Justice"

My dear friends:

While listening to today's Roberts hearings, I made a dramatic and chilling realization that I must share with you immediately, and hope that you will share it with everyone you know. Why? Because the future of our republic is at stake.

I have determined that Judge John Roberts is not just a blank slate and an ingeniously deceptive witness at his confirmation hearings, but more dangerously, he may just be a judicial "Manchurian Candidate."

Let me say that again: JOHN ROBERTS IS VERY LIKELY "THE MANCHURIAN JUSTICE!"

John "Manchurian Justice" Roberts?

Now, is there evidence that Roberts has been brainwashed and covertly prepared to do the evil bidding of the White House? Does Karl Rove simply have to flash the queen of diamonds from the spectator gallery at the Supreme Court to turn Roberts into a dangerous White House judicial tool? And to what end? Why would the president want -- in the words of so many senators this week -- a literal "automaton" as chief justice of the Supreme Court? Hmmm. Let's consider some evidence:

Well, as we know, when White House officials were, unusually, doing interviews for potential Supreme Court nominees back in APRIL -- three months before the resignation of Sandra Day O'Connor -- the Hamdan case was pending before the appeals court on which Roberts currently sits. That's the case challenging the Bush administration's creation of super-double-secret military tribunals for so-called "enemy combatants" -- extra-constitutional trials that offer sham due process.

Roberts voted to support the White House position -- as did the other two judges on the appeals court -- after he was interviewed at the White House about possibly becoming a Supreme Court justice. That case is now before the Supreme Court. Which, by the way, IS THE SAME SUPREME COURT ON WHICH JOHN ROBERTS WILL BEGIN TO SERVE AS CHIEF JUSTICE NEXT MONTH!

Now, setting aside the fact that Roberts did not recuse himself from the appeals court case -- even after he knew he was under consideration by the Bush administration for the SCOTUS gig -- is this evidence that he is an affable but evil robot, programmed decades ago for precisely what is taking place this week? With unpredictable horrors set to unfold once the new term of the ROBERTS Court begins in October? We just don't know.

But is it just coincidence that after Roberts was nominated to be an associate Justice, Chief Justice William Rehnquist's health suddenly went from bad to worse to dead, allowing the president to elevate Roberts' nomination to chief justice? Convenient tragedy or part of a long-ago plot?

And let's look at unquestionable evidence of Manchurian-Candidate-like brainwashing. For example, about 4,361 times this week Roberts has said that his "personal views" won't sway cases. But what about the views of the mind-controlling autocrats who have carefully propelled him -- over decades! -- to the chief justice's chair? Will those views sway cases when Karl Rove activates the microwave transmitter THAT SENDS INSTRUCTIONS DIRECTLY INTO THE BRAIN OF CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS?

Also, remember that earlier this summer Judge Roberts "couldn't recall" if he was a member of the Federalist Society, a conservative legal organization? Could it be that he was being technically truthful, but honestly couldn't recall his participation BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN BRAINWASHED?

Remember, too, that Judge Roberts' first gig out of law school (after two years of clerkships) was as special assistant to U.S. Attorney General William French Smith -- who, we know now, was quite close with super-evil CIA Director William Casey!

It was Smith who reportedly gave Casey the OK to allow CIA drug sales to fund the Nicaraguan contras and seek to overthrow the Sandinista government in the 1980s -- despite specific laws passed by Congress to prevent such activity. Dear God! Could there be a link between the CIA and Judge Roberts that began a quarter century ago? The plot thickens like a bowl of vichysoisse left out in the hot sun!

Now, when Vice President George Herbert Walker Bush went to Honduras in 1986 to drum up support for the CIA-funded contras, who did he take with him? Famous baseball pitcher Nolan Ryan, who later played for the Texas Rangers, a team that was OWNED BY NOW-PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH, WHO JUST NOMINATED JOHN "THE MANCHURIAN JUSTICE" ROBERTS TO BE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES! Oh. My. God! American hero Nolan Ryan is part of it too!

As freedom-loving Americans, we should shudder at these possibly terrifying links. If true, it's quite likely that my life is in danger, and I will have to flee to my favorite "undisclosed location," otherwise known as my bathtub. If not true, well, c'mon now. Seriously. How could this not be true?

Need more proof? Check out the following irrefutable evidence that Judge Roberts is indeed "The Manchurian Justice":

1. "In my meetings with Judge Roberts, I have been deeply impressed. He's a man of extraordinary accomplishment and ability. He has a good heart. He has the qualities Americans expect in a judge: experience, wisdom, fairness, and civility. He has profound respect for the rule of law and for the liberties guaranteed to every citizen. He will strictly apply the Constitution and laws, not legislate from the bench. He's also a man of character who loves his country and his family." -- George W. Bush, July 18, 2005

2. "Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life." -- Captain Bennett Marco, "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962)

3. "They can make me do anything, Ben, can't they? Anything." -- Raymond Shaw, the brainwashed soldier-assassin in "The Manchurian Candidate" (1962)

4. "Well, I don't know what my mind would tell me." -- Judge John Roberts, answering a question -- with chilling honesty -- posed by Sen. Herb Kohl, September 14, 2005.

OH MY GOD! It's simply inconceivable that this is all harmless coincidence -- especially after reading quote #4!

So, what does all this prove? Is there a secret plan afoot? Is Roberts "The Manchurian Justice," the culmination of decades of scheming to destroy American democracy? After the controversial 2000 election that somehow put George W. Bush in power, is this the proverbial "other shoe" that will lead to the creation of a totalitarian American state in which Ann Coulter is president and Rush Limbaugh is Minister of Information? Will there be military tribunals for everyone who gets a parking ticket? Will jokes about thickening vichysoisse earn you a one-way ticket to Guantanamo-by-the-Sea?

Of course not. But it sure is fun to link otherwise unrelated info together, spin a little conspiracy theory, and post it on the Internet -- where someone is likely to believe it!

Anyway, that was fun. I'm off to dinner!

P.S. Just kidding about the "of course not" thing. This is real! RUN!

BREAKING NEWS!

Report: Matt Damon is engaged

A Headline That States What Should Have Been Mandatory

New FEMA director has long history of disaster management

Hee

It's two, two, two issues in one!

A Preposterous Use of "Preposterous"

"It is preposterous to claim that the engagement in Iraq meant there wasn't enough troops here, just pure and simple." -- President Bush

Report From Hell: It's Frozen Solid!

"Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capability at all levels of government and to the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility," Bush said

It's heavily qualified, but it's something.

Now, let the GOP attack on all non-federal levels of government continue!

The World's Most Unemployable Man?

Ahhh, PhotoShop. How I love thee.

Business, Ahem, As Usual

The New York Times had it right in its editorial this morning, commenting on the president's executive order suspending prevailing-wage laws along the Gulf Coast: "a shameful proclamation."

Once again, the role of the federal government under this administration is to use any -- any! -- pretext for pushing its radical anti-worker agenda down the throat of America. Whether it was 9/11 and terrorism as cover for passing its domestic agenda (tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, gutted government services for everyone else) or, now, the use of Katrina to accomplish who knows what.

I'm looking forward to the cruel, pretzel-like logic that will call for going forward with repeal of the $70 billion/year inheritance tax; indeed, as the rising waters engulfed the sick and infirm and elderly in New Orleans, Grover Norquists blast-faxed a memo explaining how estate-tax repeal would spur economic growth which "is exactly what the residents of the Gulf Region need at this time to start the rebuilding process for their neighborhoods and more importantly for their lives." This is Don Quixote-ish in its faux noble claims: we must slay the imaginary dragon of taxes on the very, very, very, very, very wealthy in order to protect -- nay, not just protect, but help -- the suffering peasants! This Norquist guy is shameless, callous, clueless, and, it seems, in league with the darkest forces of the underworld.

Even if federal response to disaster under this president is slow and incompetent, the primary Bush standard operating procedure is in clearly in effect. Whether it's a force of nature or American bombs that do the destroying, the one part of Bush's federal government that works with impressive efficiency and speed is how it awards fat reconstruction contracts to Bush cronies -- as often as possible without a fair bidding process or timely congressional oversight. It's Halli-bastic! And Bechtel-lerific!

January 20, 2009: Hang in there, America!

Just a quick plug for my little Cafepress bumper stickers. Check 'em out.

Let's Create a New Catch Phrase!

Assuming that the president wasn't being super-subtly sarcastic when he told FEMA director Mike Brown, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job," I'd like to propose the following national project:

To enshrine that outrageous statement in American language -- and to remind us what happens when cronyism trumps competence in key government appointments -- let's use that phrase as often as we can. For example:

When you're at a restaurant, and a waiter or busboy drops a tray of dishes that shatter on the floor, everyone should yell out, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!"

When teachers hand back an exam on which a student has received a D or F, the teacher should say, with sadness, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

And so on. It will be the sarcastic comment of the century, always available to mock incompetence and screw-ups of all kinds. C'mon, who's with me? (Post your own ideas for using the Brownie phrase in the comments below.)

P.S. If anyone crosses paths with the president anytime soon, be sure to shake his hand, look him square in the eye and say, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!"

The Blame Game -- Bill Frist Style!

"Things did no go perfectly, we all know that," Frist said. "A lot of the initial criticism was at our federal government ... I think increasingly people see that it was a systemwide failure at the local level, at the state level and at the federal level."

Frist continued: "And let's not forget the breakdown in the many other non-federal levels of government: The sub-local, quasi-state, pseudo-county, and semi-district levels of government all failed massively. And I think increasingly people see that those levels of government failed so completly that it was as if they didn't even exist

"So that's just a lot of systemwide failure we need to look at before we lay blame on the president or federal government, don't you think? Or even on the pre-federal government, which failed as well. As did the pre-pre-federal government."

Quite Remarkable

How can Santorum say this even after all of the coverage in recent days about why the poor and elderly stayed behind?

In a weekend interview with Pittsburgh's WTAE-TV about the victims of Hurricane Katrina, Santorum said: "I mean, you have people who don't heed those warnings and then put people at risk as a result of not heeding those warnings. There may be a need to look at tougher penalties on those who decide to ride it out and understand that there are consequences to not leaving."

Yeah. Like being poor -- and now dead.

(via Kos)

Revealing Announcement

A key component of this year's opening session of the United Nations (next week) is to re-affirm global support for the U.N. Millennium Development goals, which focus on halving poverty by 2015. You might recall recent stories about "Ambassador" John Bolton's attempt to gut the document leaders will be asked to sign on to, which calls for a more significant contribution to global poverty-alleviation efforts by rich nations: 0.7% of GNP.

Now, here's the announcement of what the president will do in New York next week, from the White House Web site:

President to Travel to New York to Participate in 60th U.N. General Assembly

President Bush will travel to New York September 13-14 to participate in the 60th United Nations General Assembly. The President will host a private reception for leaders on the evening of September 13. On September 14, President Bush will address the High-Level Plenary Meeting of the General Assembly, which will precede the opening of the General Debate. He will also participate in a Security Council Summit; and will meet with Secretary-General Kofi Annan and Ambassador Jan Eliasson, who assumes the presidency of the General Assembly this month, to discuss a range of issues. During the course of the day, the President will stress the United States' commitment to a broad international agenda that recognizes the connection between freedom, democracy, trade and development, and security. To that end, he will meet with leaders from democratic states in support of the recently established U.N. Democracy Fund and sign the Convention for the Suppression of Nuclear Terrorism, as well as attend a luncheon hosted by the Secretary-General.

Not a single mention of global poverty or the Millennium Development Goals.

Priorities, anyone?

Awful

From CNN.com:

Former FEMA Director James Lee Witt, whom Louisiana hired to help with the recovery, said St. Bernard officials initially rejected the state's help in recovering bodies before allowing three state officials to help.

Witt told CNN the issue was pride; the parish wanted its own people to recover the bodies.

One parish resident came across the body of his father, who died in a nursing home, Witt said.

There Aren't Any Words

BOSTON GLOBE: "FEMA and state officials confirmed that FEMA had 25,000 body bags on hand in Louisiana. 'It's an effort just to be prepared,' said Bob Johannessen, a spokesman for the state Department of Health and Hospitals."

The Bush Health-Care Plan

Attention all of the 48 million Americans without health insurance: Want some? Well, the president has finally -- finally! -- put his health care plan on the table.

Here's how it works: To get covered, just get yourself caught in a natural disaster -- ideally one in which the federal government's response was slow and inept -- and you'll qualify for emergency medical assistance! That is, free health care!

From a White House Fact Sheet -- a vague one, it should be noted -- on the $51.8 billion request for Katrina aid:

Meeting The Needs Of Americans

• Shelter: Evacuees in need will be provided temporary housing or funds for hotels or apartments.
• Health Care: Emergency and urgent care, including up to $100 million for short-term hospital care is being provided. **
• Income: Unemployment insurance payments will be provided to workers made jobless by the hurricane.
• Relief: FEMA individual disaster assistance payments are being provided to hurricane victims, and the assessment of private property damage has begun.

** Now, we know health care costs are skyrocketing. But can one person really spend $100 million during a short-term hospital stay? Wow, costs ARE out of control! ***

*** Just kidding. Though after further thought, doesn't $100 million seem inadequate for the health care needs of Katrina victims? I wonder if that's because the other $51.7 billion is earmarked for Joe Allbaugh's clients?

World's Best Correction?

Ladies and gentlemen: Say hello to the new, hyper-accurate, post-Judith-Miller-Iraq-stories New York Times!

CORRECTIONS - An article in Business Day on Monday about the Notre Dame student who was one of the earliest to sound the alarm about the potential threat to New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina misstated the name of his dog. It is Robbie, not Becky.

Holy Crikey!

I totally forgot that today was Opposite Day!

Bush Not A Practitioner Of Polarizing Politics, Says Mehlman

Hey America! Quick! Look Over Here! It's WAR!

When the mess of Iraq is the White House's latest diversionary PR tactic, you know the president is in deep trouble.

President to Welcome Iraqi President Jalal Talabani to the White House -- The President will welcome Iraqi President Jalal Talabani to the White House on Tuesday, September 13, 2005. President Talabani was selected by the Transitional National Assembly to lead Iraq's first democratically elected government in over fifty years. The President and President Talabani will discuss progress in the war on terrorism, the Iraqi people's achievements in building a democratic state, the status of the draft Iraqi constitution, planning for the October referendum and December elections, and ongoing cooperation on a range of bilateral, regional, and international issues. (White House release)

Very Important Journalism Question

Is New York Times reporter and Bush administration strategic-leak sponge Judith Miller working from her prison cell for the Washington Post? And where were the Post editors on this easy-to-check fact?

'Wash Post' Runs A Key Katrina Correction
By E&P Staff
Published: September 04, 2005 11:30 PM ET

NEW YORK -- In its Sunday edition, the Washington Post quoted a "senior Bush official" who said that "as of Saturday [Louisiana Governor] Blanco still had not declared a state of emergency."

This, of course, was meant to make the governor look foolish and spread the blame around for the disastrous response to the disaster, though it was hard to imagine on what grounds the newspaper would quote an unnamed source in this case.

Several hours of blogosphere howling ensued. Later in the day, the Post ran this correction, or rather, 180-degree turn: "A Sept. 4 article on the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina incorrectly said that Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco (D) had not declared a state of emergency. She declared an emergency on Aug. 26."

Shameful Spending Priorities, Part MMMMCCCVVVetc.

I'm getting tired of using that headline to describe Congressional spending priorities. Years of underfunded levee work, and now, a predicted $150 BILLION reconstruction tab. And thousands dead.

From Fournier at AP:

It wasn't a secret that levees built to keep New Orleans from flooding could not withstand a major hurricane, but government leaders never found the money to fully shore up the network of earthen, steel and concrete barriers.

Both the Bush and Clinton administrations proposed budgets that low-balled the needs. Local politicians grabbed whatever money they could and declared victory. And the public didn't exactly demand tax increases to pay for flood-control and hurricane-protection projects.

Just last year, the Army Corps of Engineers sought $105 million for hurricane and flood programs in New Orleans. The White House slashed the request to about $40 million. Congress finally approved $42.2 million, less than half of the agency's request.

Yet the lawmakers and Bush agreed to a $286.4 billion pork-laden highway bill that included more than 6,000 pet projects for lawmakers. Congress spent money on dust control for Arkansas roads, a warehouse on the Erie Canal and a $231 million bridge to a small, uninhabited Alaskan island.

This is Hilarious

Review: 'Transporter 2' Is Insufferable -- Chicago Tribune, last Friday

'Transporter 2' tops weekend box office -- Chicago Tribune, today

"Some Travel," Indeed

From a job listing seeking a staff writer for the National Guard Association:

"The National Guard Association has an immediate opening for a staff writer. Selected candidate will contribute to monthly association magazine, web site and newsletter. Candidates must have 2 years’ reporting experience. Interest in writing about military/legislative topics a must. Some travel."

Ugh

Warehouse set up to process bodies

Six Years Ago This Week

The key in this 1999 BBC story is the action -- i.e, "cut short a trip" -- that President Clinton took before the Hurricane Floyd made landfall.

Nervous residents along the Florida and Georgia coastline are monitoring the uncertain path of Hurricane Floyd as it passes over the Bahamas and heads towards the US mainland.

Up to two million people have left their homes as they try to escape the worst effects of the storm.

US President Bill Clinton cut short a trip to New Zealand and declared a federal state of emergency in both states because of the approaching hurricane.

First on Shopping List: A Mirror

This is just absurd.

"What I intend to do is lead an investigation to find out what went right and what went wrong," Bush said.

CUT TO: The president holding up two hand puppets of himself

BUSH I (in high-pitched voice): So, Mr. President, did you drag your feet and exercise poor leadership as the Katrina disaster unfolded?

BUSH II (in regular voice): No, I did everything exactly right. In the words of Secretary Chertoff, in fact, I did a "magnificent job." But according to an objective outside observer, Karl Rove, it seems that state and local officials made all the mistakes, and then threw up all kinds of bureaucratic obstacles to my fine leadership.

BUSH I (chuckling): Okay, whew. Shall we head off for another five-week vacation?

BUSH II: Yes, yes we should.

FADE TO BLACK.

Once Again, the Wrong Man for the Job

Not a promising development. Check it:

"I've asked the Vice President to go down to the affected region on Thursday. He will go down to assess our recovery efforts. He will help me determine whether or not we're meeting these goals. He'll work with Secretary Chertoff and others to make sure that we remove any obstacles, bureaucratic obstacles that may be preventing us from achieving our goals." -- George W. Bush, "President Meets With Cabinet," September 6, 2005, a week after landfall of Hurricane Katrina.

"Today, numerous Federal departments and agencies have programs to deal with the consequences of a potential use of a chemical, biological, radiological, or nuclear weapon in the United States. Many of these Federal programs offer training, planning, and assistance to state and local governments. But to maximize their effectiveness, these efforts need to be seamlessly integrated, harmonious, and comprehensive. Therefore, I have asked Vice President Cheney to oversee the development of a coordinated national effort so that we may do the very best possible job of protecting our people from catastrophic harm." -- George W. Bush, "Statement by the President: Domestic Preparedness Against Weapons of Mass Destruction," May 8, 2001, four months before September 11.

From August 1, 2005

That's a month before Katrina, BTW...

LA National Guard Wants Equipment to Come Back From Iraq

Wow

From a blog entry made by a CNN reporter:

CNN's Drew Griffin in New Orleans, Louisiana: "I am stunned by an interview I conducted with New Orleans Detective Lawrence Dupree. He told me they were trying to rescue people with a helicopter and the people were so poor they were afraid it would cost too much to get a ride and they had no money for a "ticket." Dupree was shaken telling us the story. He just couldn't believe these people were afraid they'd be charged for a rescue."

Whew! That Should Help!

After peaking at $3.057 on the national holiday Monday, AAA said the average price for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline dipped by a little more than a penny to $3.041 by Tuesday morning.

The average price for the same gallon of gas a year ago was $1.849, according to AAA.

Oddest Search Results Linking to Reason Gone Mad

Looking over some reports on site traffic, I found that two visits resulted from the Google search "Stephen Hawking posters." (With quotations, it's the first search results listing. Without quotations, it's third.)

I wrote a piece about Stephen Hawking last year with a joke about fan posters, but I suspect someone was *really* looking for Stephen Hawking posters. For a dorm-room wall? Instead of Farrah Fawcett? (I'm dating myself here -- age-wise, not, uh, you know, "dating" myself, because that's both weird and inexplicable.)

And will you look at that: An actual Stephen Hawking poster for sale.

Confession: On the wall of my freshman-year dorm room, I had a poster of a kitten dressed up in biker gear. I thought it was ironic and funny, but in retrospect, it was pretty unfunny. I'm confident my taste and humor style has matured in the years since.

CUT TO: Shein's bedroom wall, where you'll see a poster of a kitten hanging by its front paws on a branch above the slogan, "Hang in there, baby!"

CUT TO: Shein writing a blog post that includes reference to a poster that he doesn't really have.

CUT TO: Seriously, I DO NOT have that poster of a kitten hanging on a branch. Come over and see if you want. The only posters I have in my bedroom come from Successories.

CUT TO: No, actually, I don't have those either.

This, and Democracy Reform

From Kristof's column today in the Times:

So the best monument to the catastrophe in New Orleans would be a serious national effort to address the poverty that afflicts the entire country. And in our shock and guilt, that might be politically feasible. Rich Lowry of The National Review, in defending Mr. Bush, offered an excellent suggestion: "a grand right-left bargain that includes greater attention to out-of-wedlock births from the Left in exchange for the Right's support for more urban spending." That would be the best legacy possible for Katrina.

Another constructive outlet for the emotional power of this tragedy should be, in my view, a new commitment to reforming our democracy so we have responsive government in tune with the nation's priorities. I'll be writing a column on this subject that will appear in next Sunday's Eagle.

The Issue of "Blame"

I'd like to respond to the many emails I've received that (a) suggest my recent column and blog postings are an effort to score "political points"; (b) that we must "support our president" in this time of crisis; (c) that everything is the fault of the mayor of New Orleans and governor of Louisiana; (d) that the massive death toll of poor and black people in New Orleans is a result of the "failed welfare state" (actually, I'll let the absurdity of that argument crush it without my help); (e) that this is no time for satire critical of the government; (f) etc.

First, the irony of knee-jerk Bush apologists demanding the mayor and governor be excoriated NOW -- while they work on the ground on relief efforts -- while the president and his slow and incompetent response be "supported" is quite phenomenal. The notion that the president should be immune from comment and criticism is a byproduct of the years-long effort, as the horror and tragedy of the Iraq War continues, to challenge the "patriotism" (a topic for another time) of many Americans while shutting down debate.

If you want to defend the actions of your favorite politicians, fine. Go ahead. Anyone who's read my work, including years of satirical commentary on President Clinton, knows that for me, this is not about politics or partisanship or parties. I don't care if the president is George W. Bush or Bill Clinton or Howdy Freaking Doody (Is he available? Hmmm). I make no apologies for my progressive -- quite progressive -- point of view on many issues, one that runs contrary on many issues to the opinions of both mainstream Democrats and Republicans. And I don't pull punches because of the party affiliation of a public official.

When a massive, multi-state catastrophe unfolds, I want my federal government to bring all its resources and (cough, cough!) expertise to bear as rapidly as possible. If you read the governor's letter to the president ON AUGUST 27 calling for federal help, which includes reference to the state of emergency declared ON AUGUST 26, you'll see language that makes plain that response to the hurricane would be beyond the capabilities and resources of state and local government. (And puts to rest this oft-repeated lie -- which was spun out of the White House on Saturday night -- that local officials failed to cross some t's and dot some i's, and that led to the slow response of the feds.)

Again, that's the whole point of the federal government. If states, or cities, or each of us could do everything on our own, we wouldn't need it. In this case, we did, in a big way. And the federal government, led by this president and his sub-standard appointees, failed us. Not a Republican president or Republican appointees, but rather, simply the President of the United States of America and the United States government.

If the mayor and governor and other local officials made mistakes, which they surely did, by all means we will take them to task and demand accountability. But to suggest the same is not required for presidential leadership in a national disaster makes a mockery of democracy and reveals the raw, ugly partisanship of the "support the president no matter what" crowd for all to see.

Like so many other Americans, I simply can't wrap my mind or heart around the level of human suffering. I can't walk down my road without imagining where a 20-foot waterline would fall on the homes of my friends and neighbors. I feel strange filling a glass with clean water from my tap. I get instantly sad while walking my dogs and remembering all of the people and children forced to leave their pets behind (in one emotionally crushing story reported by AP and CNN.com, a police officer pulled a dog away from a child who was being evacuated. The child wailed, screaming the dog's name over and over until he vomited). I feel helpless and am powerfully aware of the inadequacy of words.

As I have for years, I'm glad to receive emails and do my best to respond thoughtfully to them all. I want to read and hear other opinions. But I make no apologies for my anger and outrage, and you can be damn sure I will continue to express it.

<*/end of rant*>

See, They Can Act "Quickly"

From the Monday New York Times story about how the White House political operation swung "rapidly" into action when they realized they had a problem -- a political problem, that is.

These officials said that Mr. Bush and his political aides rapidly changed course in what they acknowledged was a belated realization of the situation's political ramifications. As is common when this White House confronts a serious problem, management was quickly taken over by Mr. Rove and a group of associates including Mr. Bartlett. Neither man responded to requests for comment.

I suspect it's not news to anyone that this "serious problem" is the death of thousands of people. And I don't know about you, but when the president's top political hack is suddenly responsible for "management" of the White House "response" to the largest natural disaster in our nation's history, we should all be ashamed.

Another Revealing Comment from the Former First Lady

This is just remarkable. The Bush family does indeed live in a world apart from "them" -- and I define "them" as people with an ounce of decency.

Here's the president's mother Barbara Bush, commenting on what she saw while visiting refugees evacuated to the Houston Astrodome: "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this (she chuckled slightly) -- this is working very well for them."

That's no misquote or embellishment, by the way. It's from tonight's edition of the radio program "Marketplace." So you can hear Mrs. Bush's voice and everything.

You may recall her callous remark about not wanting to trouble her "beautiful mind" with such things as "body bags and deaths" as her son led us into the Iraq War.

When off script, we get to know the Bushes quite well.

Speaking of, just like the president, I too can't wait to sit with Trent Lott on the porch of the new luxurious home he'll build on the Mississippi coast! And not sit on a folding cot in the temporary housing at a military base where poor black people from New Orleans will spend the next six months!

[UPDATE 9:53 pm: I just listened to the audio again, and found another gem from Mrs. Bush: "What I'm hearing -- which is sort of scary -- is they all want to stay in Texas." That's right, Bar! Scary black people in your town! Better rush on back to Kennebunkport where everyone is named "Whitey McWhite!" Just amazing.]

The Cooper-Landrieu Exchange

In case you missed on Thursday night, here's the transcript of CNN's Anderson Cooper sticking it -- and good -- to Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana after she tried to shovel the same ol' political BS. Good for him. There's no time for the usual political blather, and he was right to call her on it.

COOPER: Does the federal government bear responsibility for what is happening now? Should they apologize for what is happening now?

LANDRIEU: Anderson, there will be plenty of time to discuss all of those issues, about why, and how, and what, and if. … Let me just say a few things. Thank President Clinton and former President Bush for their strong statements of support and comfort today. … I want to thank Senator Frist and Senator Reid for their extraordinary efforts. Anderson, tonight, I don’t know if you’ve heard — maybe you all have announced it — but Congress is going to an unprecedented session to pass a $10 billion supplemental bill tonight to keep FEMA and the Red Cross up and operating.

COOPER: … I haven’t heard that, because, for the last four days, I’ve been seeing dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated. And when they hear politicians slap — you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it kind of cuts them the wrong way right now. Because literally there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats, because this woman had been laying in the street for 48 hours. And there’s not enough facilities to take her up. Do you get the anger that is out here?

LANDRIEU: Anderson, I have the anger inside of me. Most of the homes in my family have been destroyed. Our homes have been destroyed. I understand what you’re saying, and I know all of those details. And the president of the United States knows those details.

COOPER: Well, who are you angry at?

LANDRIEU: I’m not angry at anyone. I’m just expressing that it is so important for everyone in this nation to pull together, for all military assets and all assets to be brought to bear in this situation. And I have every confidence that this country is as great and as strong as we can be do to that. And that effort is under way.

COOPER: Well, I mean, there are a lot of people here who are kind of ashamed of what is happening in this country right now, what is — ashamed of what is happening in your state, certainly. And that’s not to blame the people who are there. It’s a desperate situation. But I guess, you know, who can — I mean, no one seems to be taking responsibility. I mean, I know you say there’s a time and a place for, kind of, you know, looking back, but this seems to be the time and the place. I mean, there are people who want answers, and there are people who want someone to stand up and say, “You know what? We should have done more. Are all the assets being brought to bear?”

LANDRIEU: