Holy BeJebus
ExxonMobil made $10 billion profit last quarter. And you know what that is? THE LARGEST QUARTERLY PROFIT IN PLANETARY HISTORY.
At least modern planetary history. There's no way of knowing the largest quarterly profit before all Earth-bound life was wiped out 50 million years ago after that little-discussed alien invasion. You know, that rich, pre-human civilization that disappeared? The one that was peaceful, and just, AND profitable? And even more advanced than us?
Seriously, what? Why are you looking at me that way?
P.S. I know, I know. What's the big deal, right? I mean, c'mon: Who among us can honestly say they've never -- even once -- earned $10 billion in one quarter? Very few of us indeed.
At least modern planetary history. There's no way of knowing the largest quarterly profit before all Earth-bound life was wiped out 50 million years ago after that little-discussed alien invasion. You know, that rich, pre-human civilization that disappeared? The one that was peaceful, and just, AND profitable? And even more advanced than us?
Seriously, what? Why are you looking at me that way?
P.S. I know, I know. What's the big deal, right? I mean, c'mon: Who among us can honestly say they've never -- even once -- earned $10 billion in one quarter? Very few of us indeed.
posted by Bill at 6:36 PM
2 Comments:
Alright, alright, I confess. Two years ago I made $11.4 billion in the third quarter. Bill, you nailed me. Come by sometime and dinner's on me.
Wow, you must also be a reincarnated person to have been so accurate about "pre-recorded history". Now, just who does Exxon have to thank for all that profit?
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