By Bill Shein
November 17, 2011
Recently, large banks have started imposing new and increased fees on the same (taxpaying) account holders who saved them from their greedy selves with billions in few-strings-attached bailout funds and trillions in low- and no-interest Federal Reserve loans.
See, banks are upset that new regulations – insufficient, but designed to prevent them from blowing up the economy again – could reduce their annual profits by $12 billion. That money, they say, was previously “earned” via exorbitant debit-card swipe fees and by processing transactions in a way that maximized overdraft fees. Nice work if you can get it, eh?
The banks want to reclaim “their” money as soon as possible, ideally without anyone noticing. That’s why the bank statements of millions of Americans will soon include lots of small, sometimes inexplicable charges – just like your phone, cable, and electricity bills.
It’s all by design: Who has hours to spend lost in a “customer service” voice-prompt system to protest a few bucks added to a monthly maintenance fee, only to be summarily disconnected after pressing the “0” key 100 times and screaming, “AGENT! AGENT! AGENT!” until hoarse?
Multiply a few bucks by millions of customers, and, well, there it is: The decades-long transfer of wealth, continued.
Following the collapse of Bank of America’s attempt to charge $5/month for using a debit card, the banks will be sly and clever about new fees. Here’s what to watch out for:
The KBLITSTWTBA Fee – Several years into the economic meltdown, how many people can decipher the meaning of financial acronyms like MBS, SPARQS, CBO, ETF, or EMBS? Depositors must be vigilant in spotting confusing lingo that may disguise hidden fees. Like the monthly “KBLITSTWTBA Fee,” a cryptic acronym that stands for, “Keep Bankers Living in the Style to Which They’ve Become Accustomed.” Outrageous!
Hidden Fee Fee – Highly paid experts, including former CIA operatives, sleight-of-hand magicians, and pathological liars are routinely hired by banks to craft deceptive ways to chip away at your hard-earned savings with hidden fees. These efforts are increasingly funded with the double-ironic “Hidden Fee Fee.” Information on this insidious charge may be hard to find: Look for it on your statement in four-point type and printed with ink that’s only visible when held up to a fluorescent black light.
Costo Beneficio de Mejora – Thanks to online translation tools available even to newspaper columnists, it’s easy for banks to hide fees by printing them in a foreign language. So if you see a $2.32 monthly charge for “Costo Beneficio de Mejora,” know that you’ve been charged an unnecessary “Profit Enhancement Fee.”
Redress of Grievances Fee – This monthly deduction is immediately wired to former elected officials who now work as lobbyists for big banks. Apparently, cashing in on one’s time as a public servant by lobbying on behalf of transnational corporations creates painful moral suffering that can only be soothed by a seven-figure income. This ongoing expense is now passed on directly to account holders. (NOTE: Sometimes appears as “Revolving Door Maintenance Fee” or “Shame Remediation Fee.”)
Don’t Even Try to “Move Your Money” Fee – As Americans move their money to credit unions, small local banks, and cooperatives at a good clip (650,000 new accounts at credit unions alone during the last 30 days, compared to 80,000 in a typical month), banks are in a panic as depositors flee. So they’re cashing in with new charges like the “Don’t Even Try to ‘Move Your Money’ Fee.” Equal to 100 percent of your account balance, it’s imposed the moment you try to close your account. (Watch for details in a “Change to Your Account Terms” statement insert.)
The bottom line? Until you’ve moved your money out of big and non-local banks – ideally before imposition of the “Don’t Even Try to ‘Move Your Money’ Fee” – read your statement closely. Because according to a Nov. 14 story in The New York Times: “Banks may also be betting that consumers will not notice the quiet creep of existing fees. As Richard K. Davis, U.S. Bancorp’s chief executive, told investors on a recent conference call: ‘We’ll see if our customers complain and move, or just complain.’”
Oh, don’t you worry, Mr. Richard K. Davis. We’re done complaining.
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Bill Shein is a founding member of the Berkshire County Hundredaires Club.
Before you move your money go to moveyourmoneyproject.org and enter your zip code to find credit unions and banks near you that are local. Sometimes when the Wall Street banks buy local banks, they keep the original name, so you could switch from a BofA location to a bank that looks local but is actually part of the Wall Street bank system. And, they are solid companies. If your small bank should fail, the FDIC will reimburse you. They probably can’t do that again for the Wall Street bank. The Wall Street banks make a lot of their money from lending to smaller banks and credit unions. It your money is already in the credit union , they don’t need to pay interest to the Wall Street bank, so we eliminate the middle man- and the interest they charge.
When you have your money in a credit union, you are a part owner of that organization, so if you don’t like their rules, you can get yourself elected to the board, or elect someone who will make rules you do like. My credit union doesn’t charge any fees at all, and gives me a tiny monthly interest payment on my checking and a pretty standard one on my savings.
More importantly, they care about my community because they are part of it, and can only be as successful as the community is. You are strengthening your community when you use your credit union. The Wall Street bank wouldn’t notice if your community burned down, as long as it didn’t interfere with their CEOs getting their million dollar bonuses on top of their multimillion dollar salaries. The guy who runs my credit union is actually my employee, and he treats me like I’m important to him, because I am.
My wife and I are already in the process of switching to a Credit Union :-)
I guess it is a way of saying to our old bank ” You’re Fired! “. Makes me feel like Donald Trump on that reality show he was on ! ( only I have a lot less money – still it is just as important to me ).
I have always mistrusted banks. My wife and I have used our local credit union for over 30 years. It offers the same full services as the banks in our area but a much reduced or even no fees. ATM transactions are no cost at our and most other credit union ATMs. Interest rates are also good for borrowing or saving.
Glad to see you’re not whining about things you can change, Bill. Oh, wait, you are! Never mind.
It never ceases to amaze me that those on the left get so so upset about a $5 bank fee. Then, when the government takes 50% of their money, they think that’s just fine. Our benevolent government, who can throw you in jail if you don’t pay THEIR fees, and will bring men with guns to your house if you don’t pay them. Tell me which bank can do that.
As the saying goes, if you want to know who REALLY owns your house, just stop paying your property taxes.
Guess what, Bill. If you don’t like what your bank is doing with your charges, switch to another bank. You get to do that. But if you don’t like what your government is doing, what are you going to do? Switching banks is a lot easier than switching countries, but that’s the choice you’re faced with.
But wait! The wonderful new bank regulations (of which you say there’s not enough) actually favored the large banks over the small, local banks. The part of the bill that caused BofA to add (temporarily) that $5/month fee was an amendment put in the bill at the last minute by your good friend Chris Dodd. You know, the ex-senator from Connecticut? His amendment limited the amount banks could charge businesses, so the banks are going to pass it along to consumers. You knew that, didn’t you, Bill? Funny you didn’t mention it.
What only an idiot doesn’t realize is that if it’s charged to business, it’s going to be passed along to consumers. As a hidden charge; the exact thing you’re so up in arms about with banks. So you’ll pay it, one way or another, or you’ll find another business or find another way to get the same thing done.
The free market will limit the amount banks charge. But nothing can limit the amount the government will charge. You’re tilting at capitalist windmills while the governmental blitzkreig is crushing you.
You need to really reflect on your positions, while you still have time. The more power the government gets, the less freedom you have to change their opression.
Government is run by the corporations. We the people are just along for the ride. Enjoy the show. Bastille or fascism? It’s your choice.